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Methlehem

by Cribshitter

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    An honest-to-Pete compact disc with original cover art by Jonny Fibers. You can hold it in your hand, or chuck it off a bank tower.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Methlehem via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $15 USD

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    **TAKE AN EXCLUSIVE PEEK BEHIND THE TURD CURTAIN....DIGITAL ALBUM DOWNLOAD INCLUDES THE FOLLOWING EXCLUSIVE BANDCAMP-ONLY EASTER EGGZ:

    - 2 EXCLUSIVE BONUS TRACKS that did not make the original release ("Sign My Cast" and "Norah Jones Fired Her Drummer")
    - 3 alternate versions of the cover art by comic book artist Johnny Fibers
    - Inside & back cover artwork
    - Tons of band photos including "the early years"
    - Cribshitter stage plot (unpublished until now!)
    - 2 exclusive Cribshitter show posters
    - Cribshitter "The Smart Choice" billboard mockup
    - Official Cribshitter postcard
    - Angels meet the band illustration

    absurdist rock supergroup
    ... more
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 7 Cribshitter releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Goin' Soft, COVID Cove (feat. Prop Cummins) *EXTENDED MIX*, COVID Cove (feat. Prop Cummins), Acapulco, Mint Car, Methlehem, and Cry A Little Rainbow. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      $35.25 USD or more (25% OFF)

     

1.
2.
I got 4 days left to wipe mi culo with this piece of legislation I got 3 days left before they pull my frequent flyer priviligations I got 2 days until my girl leaves me high and dry in a Speedo I got 1 day left to keep it really really really really real. Boy you gotta get your mind right Boy you gotta get your mind right Boy you gotta get your mind right Boy you gotta get your mind right Boy you gotta get your mind right Cuz boom goes the Vaginamite I got sick on riverboat casino in East St. Louis I think it was the pills I took mixing with the canned oxygen Either that or the poor arch support that town is always known for So I tried to get the barkeep to mix me up a Dr. Scholls and soda I got caught stealing urinal cakes from the Bathroom of the Fallen I ended up dropping one in my good friend's Tom Collins I woke that morning with a brand spankin' new wave runner But I dropped it off 4 years later to its sad rightful owner Chorus I rolled back to the Cam with my headphones on and my Discman But the bartender noticed that my headphone cord was just danglin' He threw me out on the street, I couldn't find a way to pardon him So I grabbed a bag of trash and tossed it in the crowded beer garden Chorus
3.
I need a lover (a full-time lover) Who will make me want to stay. I need a trainer (not a part-time entertainer) Who will show me different ways. Now off with your clothes and such Cuz you got someone who knows your clutch (it's kinda soft). I need a father (a hunter and a gatherer) Who provides for all of us. The Cliffs of Dover (not that Eric Johnson wanker) Was it really worth the fuss? But a wedding is a wedding they say Irregardless of that sea salt spray. I need a lover, Not a den-guarding mother I need a father, Not a Rorschach Blotter Methlehem, you're my little Methlehem Methlehem, you're my little Methlehem
4.
I suppose you want to know who sent me?
5.
6.
You make the most of yourself. It's a typical response to a lack of wealth. You've got to hang on till the end. Cuz you are on the mend. You've got to strive for your best. There's a reason you're alive, you gotta pound your chest. There's no time to pretend. Cuz you are on the mend.
7.
Methlehem 01:46
8.
Hippie Girl 03:58
9.
There once was a time...to survive. You wanted more...then came out alive You took more than you could keep you alive. There once was a time...you and I. I'll never forget the day you were mine. Because you survived. You survived The Time.
10.
You see her standing, she is demanding Talking down with her pants suit on She's overloaded, and underpaid She needs a night out to have her way She's on a mission, her one condition: Is to get hella laid Because she's cool to the touch...and hot in crotch She's cool to the touch. So soft to the munch. You take her dancin', steady romancin'. Watch her abs as she grinds to the floor She rides your thigh bone, crushes your cell phone Forget the sextin' let's do this right She says she's thirsty, I'll ask the barkeep For one drink to be made: I'll have a crotch on the rocks And a bagel with lox She was hungry for brunch How about a moose knuckle punch? Because she's cool to the touch...and hot in crotch She's cool to the touch. So soft to the munch.
11.
Here I am Lord. Come with me Lord. Here I am in the middle of the "Crossroads of the Line." Here I am Lord. Come with me Lord. Why don't you take me away to that special place in your heart? Here I am Lord. Come with me Lord. Here I am in the middle of the "Crossroads of the Line." Here I am Lord. Come with me Lord. Why don't you sing me the Ancient Song of the Bamboo Bridge?
12.
I'll take a skilled hand to make it work I'll give it all I got but I can't promise I'll take a school girl, livin' in a skilled world It'll take a school girl, and a ribbon clerk To right the wrongs of Mr. Clarence Thomas I'll take a school girl, Gonna take a school girl to make it right. Cribshittin' and we're happy happy tonight. Gonna take a school girl Coming from a skilled world tonight Gonna take a school girl She's my school girl tonight Gonna take a school girl Coming from a skilled world tonight Gonna take a school girl Cribshitter on the, Tough shitter on the, Hit misser on the, School girl...whoa...school girl tonight-aahhhh.. It's gonna take a school tonight. Gonna take a school girl... Cribshitter on the, Tough hitter on the school school shitter tonight. School shitter on the, tough hitter on the, School girl shitter tonight.
13.
This is a time of understanding A time to take your brother's hand Although this flight will be demanding Let's set our sights for the Motherland I know it's not quite what you planned The Sands of Time will bless our band again I see the glow of candles burning Let's take a moment to consider them The roaring crowd will soon be turning A million thoughts to a different hymn A song about a shepherd Jim His body torn limb for limb...for limb.
14.
I got sick on riverboat casino in East St. Louis I think it was the pills I took mixing with the canned oxygen Either that or the poor arch support that town is always known for So I tried to get the barkeep to mix me up a Dr. Scholls and soda He ended up tossing you a bar rag to wipe your unibrow Yeah but nobody believes me the man was such a sleaze He ain't never gonna be the same. I got 4 days left to wipe mi culo with this piece of legislation I got 3 days left before they pull my frequent flyer priviligations I got 2 days until my girl leaves me high and dry in a Speedo I got 1 day left to keep it really really really really real. I got caught stealing urinal cakes from the Bathroom of the Fallen I ended up dropping one in my good friend's Tom Collins I woke that morning with a brand spankin' new wave runner But I dropped it off 4 years later to its sad rightful owner. He ended up tossing you a bar rag to wipe your unibrow Yeah but nobody believes me the man was such a sleaze He ain't never gonna be the same. I got 4 days left to wipe mi culo with this piece of legislation I got 3 days left before they pull my frequent flyer priviligations I got 2 days until my girl leaves me high and dry in a Speedo I got 1 day left to keep it really really really really real.
15.
See ya later alligator After while crocodile Sayonara senorita Hasta la vista Mr. Li! Tip your ribbon clerks a dollar Watch your Jenga tower topple Pick your eyes out with a cracker Flakka-lakka-lakka-lakaa La-la-la.... Waaah.... Put a twinkle in your sparkle And a feather in your parka Get together warm and cozy But don't forget to say "goodbye" See ya later alligator After while crocodile Sayonara senorita Hasta la vista Mr. Li! La-la-la.... Waaah.... See ya later alligator After while crocodile Sayonara senorita Hasta la vista Mr. Li! Hasta la vista Mr. Li! Hasta la vista Mr. Li! Hasta la vista Mr. Li!
16.
How do you talk to a lady? Make sure she's listening first.
17.
Keep on partying. Party. Keep on partying. Party. Keep on partying. Party. Keep on partying. Party.
18.
Your boy Peter.
19.
Chad put on the high beams, Just in time for her scream. It's a long road back, So head on out to the wooden shack.
20.
There's a friend I found in Jesus A friend from so long ago He won't judge me or dismiss me On the road to Jericho
21.
Cuddle Duds 03:31
Slip in to my Cuddle Duds, fuddle my duddle Pick apart all the pieces of my heart Soap up my puddle suds, piddle away your sorrows Let's go on creaming corn for fun Cuz there ain't nobody else that I can count on And there ain't nobody else that I stand on I've sung so many lies that I've got nothing else to lose Except the Father, Son, and the Holy Farting Ghost Tater tots and crooked cops Hold a forum in Glabicki Tried to make it count this time around Fat man said to the dog "I've gonna slip you a mickey" "You'll find yourself in the lost and found" (Chorus) (Chorus)
22.
23.
Today is yesterday's tomorrow You were crying on the potty chair I said "darling it must your pillow" As you looked at me with that sleepy stare Sleepless nights together in bed Toss and turn I kicked the doggie in the head Try to count sheep but all I count is Dracula One in the morning come on...what rhymes with Dracula? Cuz you're my man, my husband You're the only one who can slap me around Cuz you're my man, my husband I can see in your face that pound for pound You love me You love me You love me
24.
Puppy Mills 05:28
Picked out my dog A beautiful Labradoodle-Ranian From an Amish farm Up in the hills of Pennsylvania When I got home I noticed there was something wrong with her Ooze from her eyes Her paws were all mangled-mania Puppy mills, see the puppies in their cages How it kills the hopes & dreams the puppy chases Prisoners of greed All you can hear is a distant bark They need to be freed To roam suburban lawns and doggie parks Their lives were over before they got started It's so absurd, it's so retarded (they should be free!) (Chorus) Cages and cages and cages and cages...

about

All songs recorded & mixed by
Klobba Traxx at The Orthtenson Ranch

absurdist rock supergroup

credits

released December 13, 2011

Cribshitter is:
Diaper Daniels - guitars, singing, keys, many things
Danika - tuba, singing
Don Rubbish - bass, singing
Count Bassy - bass, singing
The Fucking Lion - drums
Spice Rack - guitar

With help from:
Rusty Cottonmouth - Pedal steel
William Arthur - vocals “On the Mend”
Cover art by Johnny Fibers
Recorded/mixed in 2011 by KlobbaTraxx at the Orthtenson Ranch
All songs by Cribshitter 2011 Medicated G Records

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about

Cribshitter Madison, Wisconsin

What do we sound like? Smack a snake in its head with a wooden spoon while it is eating garbage. That is what we sound like. We are currently the highest ranked band in Dane Co.

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